Monday, August 27, 2007

Will Teddy Win?!

This Shtick which commenced last Summer during "GET YOUR RED ON WEEKEND" has been an absolute success. The Racing Presidents of Our Washington Nationals have been a HUGE HIT. Seen constantly on Sports Television Highlight Shows most every night during a Home Game on East Capitol Street--these four OVER SIZED American Greats have become The Face of The Franchise. So much so--These Presidents have a following of their own. Celebrity, that not even Management could possibly have realized--in their WILDEST DREAMS-- upon creating this event last year. Sure--its copied from similar events held in Milwaukee and Pittsburgh--but its DISTINCTLY WASHINGTON DC. The Only City in America where this event works--in such a manner.

One of biggest reasons for their ever increasing fandom is Teddy Roosevelt himself. Yes, Its well known--The Lovable Loser has never won--not once in over 100 appearances. Teddy has been downright terrible running in this 4th inning event, hilariously so at times. And, nothing beats his Opening Day 2007 Zip Line Run from The Roof of RFK. A FABULOUS SIGHT. The Best Stunt of the Season. At the same time--TR doesn't seem to understand the Concept of This Race. He never appears to have ANY clue that the object is to win.

Of course--its all a Joke. A prank that has spawned "RUN TEDDY RUN" T-Shirts--and the now well known "LET TEDDY WIN!!" Chant heard throughout the 7th inning--when The Racing Presidents post up in the tunnel--just to the left of Section 320. These Characters have a following. Fans that have come to look forward to seeing them each and every home game of Our Washington Nationals. Besides--who can not enjoy the sight of some 5 Year Old Staring in disbelief, and sometimes HORROR, over these VERY LARGE COSTUMES looming down at that innocent kid. The "RUSHMORES" are quite the sight.

Popularity that resulted in the issuing of Four Bobbleheads this summer commemorating their adoration. Teddy's Compatriots--George Washington, Abe Lincoln & Thomas Jefferson have each won countless times. More Importantly--all three have won on "Their Day" at RFK Stadium this season. The Afternoon the GW, Abe and TJ Bobbleheads were passed out to fans over three Home Dates this Summer. Giveaway Days, where each of these "Rushmores" was ESCORTED TO VICTORY by (Faux) Secret Service Agents.

Which now begs the question--Will Teddy Get The Same Treatment this Saturday, September 1st?

On that weekend day, Teddy Roosevelt Bobbleheads will be given to fans attending that night's game between Our Washington Nationals and The San Francisco Giants. Anybody attuned to and aware of what has occurred with TR over the past season and one half--will certainly be watching that day's race. During the Mid-4th Inning event this coming Saturday Night--The Presidents Race may well be the MOST WATCHED Moment that evening.

EVERYBODY will want to know: Will Teddy WIN?!

And, what would happen if he wins!!??

Would the Crowd Go NUTS!!?? Would the Ball Game have to Stop to CELEBRATE THE MOMENT!!?? Would The BANG!! ZOOM!! of The Fireworks take place?!! Would Charlie Slowes scream the play-by-play of The Dramatic Win!!? (If he did--his partner Dave Jageler may need to get out the Oxygen Tank--knowing Charlie will take his Race Winning Call into the Stratosphere). Would Our Washington Nationals be granted an extra Curly "W" for history being made? Would MY BEST FRIEND SCREEEECH!!!--actually FLY IN JUBILATION!!?? (Now that would be a sight to behold!!)

Finally--After Winning--Would Teddy "JOG" around the Warning Track to slap hands with Fans!! All the while that "Chariots of Fire" Theme Song is played out over the PA System?!! Of course--Teddy would have to move in Slow Motion to get the good effects going with the beat of the music.

All interesting thoughts. All of which might put an end to A Fabulous Losing Streak.

Futility that is adored.

Which also makes me wonder: If Teddy trips and falls during the race on Saturday--would "The Most Thrilling Closer In The Game" be called upon to Save Teddy's Victory? Somehow seems appropriate--doesn't it?

Of course my favorite scenario heard about this Saturday's Race is that Teddy will win, but video will be shown later depicting Our Lovable Loser applying the "Clear" & the "Cream" Steroids before the Victory. A conquest nullified because TR would be ruled a cheater--maybe even given an "*" next to his win total. With Barry Bonds in town with The Giants--it would be fitting. Although, I doubt Our Washington Nationals would play up such an event. Too bad. As it would be funny--yet at the expense of someone in house. Probably, not a good thing to try. Something Major League Baseball would frown on. It may be in poor taste--but its an hilarious thought.

So--if Teddy does Win--what happens NEXT!!?? Does the race become more serious? That might not be as fun. Not knowing how Teddy will Blow It--is a part of the enjoyment. And, the "LET TEDDY WIN!!" Chant from Section 320-- would become obsolete. How would The Race Change? What would be the new stakes? Are New Presidents to be added?

The Racing Presidents are nearing a Seminal Moment in their short history. This coming Saturday Night may well change their future--all based on How Teddy Performs during that 4th inning RACE.

Personally--I can't wait. I betcha--many more are looking forward to the occasion, also.



An Briosca Mor said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Crash said...

This may be the day that Teddy arrives via horseback, in true "Rough Rider" fashion. That would be interesting.

If he DOES win, I'll bet that Teddy will do what Don Sutton so humorously describes as "high-fiving through both dugouts" (or words to that effect).

I can't wait.

An Briosca Mor said...

Given Metro's problems the last two evenings, if it keeps up might we see Teddy stuck on a train at some far-off station, unable to get to RFK for his big race?

I've always taken Metro to the games, but they've got me worried now. So I'm researching the driving routes to figure out how to get to RFK by car on Saturday if need be. I bet I'm not the only Metro-riding Nats fan who's doing that, either. So those of you who normally drive to RFK and count on being able to cruise in relatively late, get a parking spot and get into the stadium just in time for the game, be warned. It could get messy on Saturday. Plan to get there early or you might miss out on getting your Teddy bobblehead!

Fritz said...

Teddy will win on September 23--during the final President's Race and the final home game ever to be played at RFK.

Anonymous said...

I agree with Fritz. 9/23 = Teddy's First Win, the last home game ever at RFK. Sweet!

Edward J. Cunningham said...

I think Crash's idea is excellent. It will enable Teddy to "win" the race in a spectacular manner while preserving his losing streak. I think more than winning itself, Teddy prefers to steal the SPOTLIGHT, and in that regard he has been a spectacular success. Look at what happened on the Abe Lincoln bobblehead night. Abe won the race, but everyone remembers Teddy riding in a bicycle drawn rickshaw...

Anonymous said...

Its going to be a fun Saturday at old RFK!!!!

Can't wait to get up there and cheer the nats on to victory and I hope Teddy MAKES A SCENE like he did on opening day!!!!!!!

Anonymous said...

Rooting for Teddy has become our first completely unique Nationals fan tradition. Here's to another great season of spectacular Teddy adventures in the new ball park.